Introduction to the Utilitarian Children

Ideal Utilitarianism—concerned solely with maximizing intrinsic goods

Hedonistic Utilitarianism—concerned with maximizing happiness

Introduction to the Utilitarian Children

Ideal Utilitarianism’s face darkened as he saw his sister, Hedonistic
Utilitarianism, heavily munching on the free snacks in the grocery store.

“Hedonistic Utilitarianism,” he greeted coldly, jostling his shoulder. Smirking, she turned to him.

“What did I do now?”

“You threw out my paintings.”

“They were ugly.”

“They were Art!”

“Ugly art has no use. My side of the apartment is my side. I didn’t want to look at them. Do I need to call mom?”

Always with that annoying face, that infuriating staccato way of imposing speech. Ideal Utilitarianism was so frustrated and imposed upon, he considered moving in with Optimism, even though he knew he couldn't leave his sister unattended.