Nihilism Propagates

Cast:

Stylometry-- studying literature by means of statistical analysis

Pragmatism—“a practical approach to problems and affairs” or a doctrine “marked by the doctrines that the meaning of conceptions is to be sought in their practical bearings” (Merriam-Webster)

Nihilism—the belief in nothing

Utilitarianism— “a doctrine that the useful is the good and that the determining consideration of right conduct should be the usefulness of its consequences”
(Merriam-Webster)

Psychology—the study of the mind

Nihilism Propagates

Stylometry had been sharing her observations about the length of sentences in David Hume’s work versus that of Charles Dickens’ when those assembled had decided desperately to change the subject. Pragmatism, backed by a slightly tired Utilitarianism, had started an argument about the inconvenience of believing in nothing when the individual clearly was when Nihilism rose, seemingly put out.

“Where are you going?” Pragmatism leaned back in his seat with his black, milked tea.

“I have to go spend time with my kid.”

Pragmatism could hardly believe himself, “Why do you have a kid?”

Nihilism shot him a scathing look, “How do kids normally come about? I had sex with Epistemology. I thought at the time that I could learn something, but in the end she knows about as much as the rest of you.”

“Which is?” asked Psychology, amused and already sure of the answer.

“Nothing.”

After he left, no one felt like continuing a conversation wherein the primary antagonist had disappeared. Psychology appeared thoughtful, examining a split end of her honey-colored hair with vague interest.

“He’s probably very angry in bed,” she commented. Utilitarianism was made singularly uncomfortable by this forward comment, and wandered out of the room.