Unsavory Memo
Vegetarianism wasn’t skinny, and once she wrote this:
“I wouldn’t call myself a connoisseur of anything in particular, though the thought does occur to me that maybe I can be picky. I hope to have the thing to eat and drink that is uniquely right for the time and place that I am eating or drinking that thing.
Therefore, I’m a little chunky. I mean, most often something delicious is called for, and delicious is fat. Of course, the problem is the fart residual, the amount of fat that is stored in the body.”
Veganism broke up with her when she put it on the fridge, mainly because the phrase “fart residual” both baffled and saddened her.
Showing posts with label vegetarianism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vegetarianism. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, July 20, 2009
Hillshire Farms Commercial
Cast:
Vegetarianism-- diet excluding animal flesh, but not necessarily animal products such as milk or eggs
Hillshire Farms Commercial
They did a cheer. It ended, "Go meat." That couldn't be.
She brushed her teeth. She still heard it.
She walked outside, running her hands along the fresh green spring foliage and feeling alive. But it was still in her head.
Catchy mother-bleeping commercial. Managed to combine two of her nightmares-- the cheerleader one and the sausage one.
Go...meat...
Vegetarianism-- diet excluding animal flesh, but not necessarily animal products such as milk or eggs
Hillshire Farms Commercial
They did a cheer. It ended, "Go meat." That couldn't be.
She brushed her teeth. She still heard it.
She walked outside, running her hands along the fresh green spring foliage and feeling alive. But it was still in her head.
Catchy mother-bleeping commercial. Managed to combine two of her nightmares-- the cheerleader one and the sausage one.
Go...meat...
Friday, July 17, 2009
Bromatology's Picnic
Cast:
Bromatology—the study of food
Geology—study of the Earth’s crust
Psychology—study of the mind
Veganism—the belief in excluding all animal products from the individual’s diet
Vegetarianism—the belief in excluding all or most animal flesh from the diet, but often accepting the consumption of milk, egg or fish ingredients
Bromotology’s Picnic
The picnic tables were lined with checkered tablecloths, and each seat held someone who was both hungry and excited. Geology, for once, was glad he had been dragged out by Psychology, even if she insisted on making bets on whatever she could with him. Bromatology, with the help of his assistants, set forth the feast he had cooked up. As he passed by the publicly affectionate Vegetarianism and Veganism, Veganism snatched the crisp, white material of Bromatology’s jacket. Psychology roughly patted Geology’s upper arm, directing him to watch; one of their bets involved the happy lesbians.
“What can we eat?” asked Veganism, content to take the lead in this situation. Vegetarianism smiled loopily at her.
“Everything!” shouted Bromatology, spreading his arms wide across the table. Their smiles faded.
“What is vegetarian and vegan?” asked Vegetarianism, calmer than her girlfriend.
“Oh, ladies, ladies, walk with me,” Bromatology led the couple across the lawn,
“Walk and tell me why you would limit your food choices in such a tragic way?”
After a four-handed push, the expansive backside of Bromatology lie bruised on the lawn. Vegetarianism and Veganism stormed away, and grudgingly Geology handed over a small amount of money to a smug Psychology.
Bromatology—the study of food
Geology—study of the Earth’s crust
Psychology—study of the mind
Veganism—the belief in excluding all animal products from the individual’s diet
Vegetarianism—the belief in excluding all or most animal flesh from the diet, but often accepting the consumption of milk, egg or fish ingredients
Bromotology’s Picnic
The picnic tables were lined with checkered tablecloths, and each seat held someone who was both hungry and excited. Geology, for once, was glad he had been dragged out by Psychology, even if she insisted on making bets on whatever she could with him. Bromatology, with the help of his assistants, set forth the feast he had cooked up. As he passed by the publicly affectionate Vegetarianism and Veganism, Veganism snatched the crisp, white material of Bromatology’s jacket. Psychology roughly patted Geology’s upper arm, directing him to watch; one of their bets involved the happy lesbians.
“What can we eat?” asked Veganism, content to take the lead in this situation. Vegetarianism smiled loopily at her.
“Everything!” shouted Bromatology, spreading his arms wide across the table. Their smiles faded.
“What is vegetarian and vegan?” asked Vegetarianism, calmer than her girlfriend.
“Oh, ladies, ladies, walk with me,” Bromatology led the couple across the lawn,
“Walk and tell me why you would limit your food choices in such a tragic way?”
After a four-handed push, the expansive backside of Bromatology lie bruised on the lawn. Vegetarianism and Veganism stormed away, and grudgingly Geology handed over a small amount of money to a smug Psychology.
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