(Kind Of) Cliff Crisis

(Kind Of) Cliff Crisis

Dadaism stood far above where anyone could reach him, swaying dangerously in the sudden and violent winds that rose up from the canyon below. Pragmatism had given up, Geology had wandered off, but Surrealism anxiously watched his unstable mentor. Existentialism walked up behind him, laying a bracing hand on his shoulder.

“He’ll come down,” Existentialism said, “Stop worrying so much. At the end of the day, he’ll be fine and you’ll have an ulcer.”

Surrealism nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat and walking away. Sure now that he was alone, Existentialism walked directly up to the perilously perched Dadaism and shoved him, one-handed, back onto safe ground. Dadaism laughed and glared in succession.

Unsavory Memo

Unsavory Memo

Vegetarianism wasn’t skinny, and once she wrote this:

“I wouldn’t call myself a connoisseur of anything in particular, though the thought does occur to me that maybe I can be picky. I hope to have the thing to eat and drink that is uniquely right for the time and place that I am eating or drinking that thing.
Therefore, I’m a little chunky. I mean, most often something delicious is called for, and delicious is fat. Of course, the problem is the fart residual, the amount of fat that is stored in the body.”

Veganism broke up with her when she put it on the fridge, mainly because the phrase “fart residual” both baffled and saddened her.